Minal Nebhnani Coaching - Ummuted , Code Switching

Visibility & Self-Advocacy: Silence Doesn't Get You Promoted

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 21:48:16 -0600

You don’t need to hustle harder. You need to show up differently

(3-4 mins)

A few months ago, I sat across from a client - we’ll call her Lillian - who had just been passed over for a promotion again. She was frustrated, tired, and honestly a little heartbroken. She looked at me and said, “Minal, I don’t understand. I work hard. I get things done. People like me. Why isn’t it enough?”

And I told her the thing that most high-performing professionals don’t want to hear: Hard work is respected. But visibility is remembered.

Lillian was operating from a blueprint many of us inherited: Put your head down, do a great job, and eventually someone will notice. But here’s the uncomfortable truth - silence doesn’t get you promoted. It may have in the past, but it certainly doesn't anymore. And it's not because your work isn’t good or because you aren’t qualified. It's because no one can reward work they don’t see.

And for 1st & 2nd gen professionals (the first in your family to build a career here, or the child of immigrants balancing two cultures), invisibility can feel like safety - like humility, like respect, like “the right thing to do.” But in the workplace silence gets mistaken for satisfaction, being invisible gets mistaken for not being prepared, and quiet competence gets mistaken for lack of leadership skills.

So today, we’re shifting that. Let’s talk about how to advocate for yourself without performing, pretending, or turning into someone corporate TikTok would make fun of.

1. You Don’t Need to Brag — You Need to Inform

Self-advocacy isn’t self-promotion, it’s information sharing. Instead of hoping someone sees your impact, make it easy for them to see it.

A simple script: “Quick update - here’s what I led, the outcome we achieved, and the impact it’s having.”

It's not flashy or showy. It's actually just factual - because people can’t value work they don’t know about.

2. Stop Waiting for Permission — Create Your Own Visibility

Too many people wait to be invited to the table. Leaders don’t wait, they actively participate.

You can increase visibility by:

•Asking to present your work instead of handing it off

•Volunteering to lead one agenda item in the next meeting

•Raising your hand for stretch projects instead of hoping to be picked

Not because you’re pushy but because you’re present and you're more than capable.

3. Document Your Wins Like Receipts

If you only remember what you did, you will forget what you delivered.

Create a running list of:

•Problems you solved

•Decisions you influenced

•Metrics you moved

•Compliments and feedback receipts

Then turn them into short monthly summaries like, “Here are three things I drove this month and the impact they had.” Small updates can and do equate to huge shifts over time. Future you is going to want those receipts.

4. Speak One Level Louder Than Your Default

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You don’t need to become the loudest voice in the room - one just need to be one level louder than silence.

Try:

•Asking one more question

•Sharing one idea you would’ve held (and then wished you shared)

•Adding one insight instead of nodding along

Leadership presence is built in small incremental steps, not leaps.

5. Visibility Without Burnout: Pace Yourself

Being seen doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Visibility isn't volume, it’s strategy.

Choose visibility moments with intention:

💡 Present your work instead of letting someone else speak for it
💡 Share progress updates proactively
💡 Take credit with clarity and grace: “I led this part of the project, and here’s what it unlocked.”

A small spotlight consistently is what builds momentum.

This Week’s Action

Pick one visibility move to implement:

•Present instead of pass

•Send a monthly win summary

•Share impact, not effort

•Ask for the opportunity instead of waiting for it

Then notice: How did the room respond? How did you feel? What changed - even a little? Because being undervalued isn’t a reflection of your worth,

it’s often a reflection of your volume. And silence, as comforting as it is, has never been a promotion strategy.

Try it out and let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you.

👋🏽 Hi! I’m Minal - a Career Success & Leadership Coach for 1st & 2nd gen professionals (the first in your family to build a career here or the child of immigrants balancing two cultures). I help you move past outdated work advice, communicate with confidence and clarity, and show up as a strong, credible leader so that you can earn promotions (and raises) faster without burning out, shrinking yourself, or pretending to be someone you’re not.

🔥 If this resonated forward it to someone who works hard but stays quiet - the person who deserves to be seen. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, join Unmuted here 👇🏽 to get next week’s issue. You don't want to miss it!

See you next week,

Minal

SUBSCRIBE NOW!

Code-Switching & Cultural Tension: How to Lead Without Compromising Culture

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 21:34:21 -0600

You don’t need to hustle harder. You need to show up differently

(3-4 mins)

A few years ago, I worked with a client - let’s call her Deepika - who was promoted into a leadership role on a global team. She was brilliant, strategic, thoughtful. The kind of person who could connect dots no one else saw. But on her first week as a manager, she said something to me I’ll never forget, “Minal, I feel like I have to choose between leading the ‘right’ way and leading the way I was raised.” And ooof, if that doesn’t sum up the lived experience of so many first- and second-generation professionals, I don’t know what does.

Because here’s the real tension: At work, you’re told to be assertive, direct, and confident while at home, you were told to be respectful, humble, and not rock the boat. And somewhere between those two worlds, you end up feeling like you’re either “too much” or “not enough.”

So today’s issue is about bridging that gap and showing you how to lead in a way that honors your culture, your values, and your identity without watering yourself down or being overlooked.

Let’s get into it.

1. Lead With Your Values (Not Someone Else’s Playbook)

Most leadership advice is written from a Western, individualistic lens: “Speak first.” “Make fast decisions.” “Push back aggressively.” But maybe you come from a culture where leadership sounds like: “Listen first. Observe. Make decisions that consider everyone, not just yourself." Neither is wrong. But only one gets celebrated in corporate America and that’s what creates the tension.

So here’s the shift: Instead of abandoning your values, lead with them. Use your natural strengths on purpose.

One of my clients, Luis, is known for being incredibly thoughtful before making decisions. Early in his career, that made him look passive. Now that he’s a director, he’ll say: “Before we decide, here are the three downstream impacts I’m considering.” He’s learned how to turn his cultural strength, consideration, into strategic clarity.

2. Stop Diluting Your Communication Style; Refine It Instead

A lot of first/second-gen professionals code-switch in communication because they don’t want to appear “emotional,” “too polite,” or “too direct.” But as I mentioned in my Masterclass last week, authenticity isn’t binary. It’s not an on/off switch - think of it more as a dimmer.

Instead of muting yourself or overcorrecting, try this: Take your natural communication style and sharpen it. If you’re naturally warm, anchor warmth with structure. If you’re naturally direct, balance directness with context. Or if you’re naturally analytical, lead with the headline, then the detail.

Here’s an example: A product manager I coach, Maya, used to soften everything with “I’m not sure but…” “Maybe we could…” or “Just a thought…” Once we started working together we scrapped all that (because it wasn’t serving anyone) and now what she says is, “Here’s what I’m seeing. Here’s the impact. Here’s what I recommend.” Still warm and still collaborative but now she’s also clear and credible, not muted or dimmed.

3. Redefine Respect (The Modern Way)

Many of us grew up equating respect with quiet compliance: “Don’t question authority;” “don’t contradict elders;” “don’t draw too much attention.” At work, that becomes not asking questions, not pushing back or setting boundaries, and not advocating for yourself. And that’s where promotions stall.

Here’s a more modern definition of respect: Respect is honoring your expertise by voicing it.

Meena, a senior financial analyst, once told me that she never corrected her VP’s mistakes during meetings because she didn't want to appear disrespectful. We worked on reframing that into, “Here’s a detail I want to add that strengthens our recommendation…” What do you think happened? She didn’t get reprimanded like she would have at home. Instead her VP later thanked her for making the team look stronger and not soon after started bringing her into more high-visibility meetings.

Respect isn’t always defined as silence. It can be defined as contribution too. Context is key.

4. Don’t Abandon Community - Build It

Many first- and second-gen professionals come from collectivist cultures where community matters. Conversely, in Corporate America, individual stars shine.

Here’s the unlock: You can lead collectively inside a system that rewards individuality.

How?

Spotlight your team’s wins in leadership calls:
- Instead of “The project is done,” say, “Shoutout to Jade for catching the data gap early. Her work saved us two weeks.”
Share credit intentionally:
- When someone praises you, try, “Thank you. I led the strategy and Marco drove the execution beautifully.”
Build psychological safety by modeling it:
- Say things like, “Let’s think through this together,” or “Let’s slow down so quieter voices can jump in.”
Ask: “Who’s missing from this conversation?”
- “We’re making a decision that impacts customer success. Can we bring Ana in before finalizing?”

When you do this, people begin to view you as someone who elevates a room and not just yourself. Leaders who elevate others get elevated faster themselves.

5. Advocate for Yourself Without Feeling Selfish

This one is BIG. If you come from an immigrant household, you were probably raised to put everyone else first. Advocacy might feel like arrogance or entitlement.

Here’s a softer entry point: Self-advocacy is giving people useful information about how to support you and your work. It’s not bragging or not seeking attention. Think of it as clarity.

Use language like:

“For visibility, here’s a quick update on X…”
“Here’s what I’ve delivered and what I’m driving next…”
“Here’s where I need alignment…”

You’re not making it about you. You’re making it easier for everyone to understand the impact you’re creating so the whole team can move forward faster and with fewer roadblocks.

This Week’s Action

Pick one of these five shifts and practice it once. Literally once.

Share your perspective without softening it
Clarify your thought process in a meeting
Advocate for your work with a simple, factual update
Lead a meeting your way, not the “traditional” way
Ask, “Who else needs to be in this conversation?”

Then pay attention: Did you feel more grounded? Did the room respond differently? Did you show up a little more like the leader you already are? Where else can you do this? Slow and steady, one piece at a time.

Reply and tell me where and with what do you think you want to start first? I can’t wait to hear.

🔥 If this resonated, share it with someone balancing two cultures and one workplace rulebook. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, join Unmuted here 👇🏽 to get next week’s issue. You don't want to miss it!

See you next week,

Minal

SUBSCRIBE NOW!

Code-Switching & Cultural Tension: “Too Ambitious at Home, Too Quiet at Work”

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 15:16:34 -0600

(3-4 mins)

When I was a kid, being “ambitious” wasn’t exactly a compliment. It meant pushy, proud, too much. And for a girl, that was definitely not ok.

So, like a lot of 1st and 2nd gen professionals and immigrants, I learned early to dial it down. I learned to smile more, not brag, be humble, let other people take credit for my ideas and even my work. It didn’t feel great growing up, but I also didn’t want to be an outcast or “too much.” And as I got older, this translated into my work, my livelihood.

Fast forward to my first corporate role. I was sitting in a performance review, waiting for that glowing feedback I’d worked myself ragged for but instead, my manager said, “You’re doing great work. We just wish you’d show a little more confidence.”

I laughed awkwardly, nodded, and thought, Confidence? You mean bragging? That’s not how I was raised…literally. I worked really hard to do the opposite of what I was being asked. What the actual…?! And then not only was I angry - at my parents, my culture, my boss and myself - I was also really confused. Who was I supposed to be and how on earth was I supposed to act?

Here’s the problem: At home, ambition feels like betrayal. At work, humility reads as hesitation. And somewhere between those two worlds… a lot of us start to lose our voice.

The Double Bind of Cultural Expectations

For so many of us raised between cultures, this isn’t just a mindset issue, it’s a cultural contradiction.

At home, you might hear:

“Don’t outshine others.”
“Be grateful for what you have.”
“Keep your head down and do good work."

At work, you hear:

“Speak up more.”
“Advocate for yourself.”
“Own your accomplishments."

And the kicker? Both sets of advice are technically right. But together, they create this invisible tension - a push and a pull that keeps you muted in the moments that matter most.

You end up code-switching not just in language or tone, but in identity. At home, you hide your ambition; at work, you hide your culture. And somewhere in the middle, you start wondering which version is the real you.

How This Shows Up at Work

Here’s what it looks like in real life:

You get praised for being “steady” but passed over for leadership roles because you “don’t show enough drive.”
You hold back in meetings because you don’t want to sound "arrogant" or "confrontational."
You write and rewrite your self-evaluation until it sounds confident but not too confident.
You downplay big wins so you don’t seem like you’re bragging, then watch someone else get credit for doing waaaaay less.

None of this means you lack ability. It means you’re navigating a workplace that rewards behaviors that your upbringing may have discouraged. I know mine did. That’s not a personal flaw, it’s a cultural mismatch.

So What Do You Do About It?

Let’s start simple. You don’t need to swing from quiet to cocky. Realistically, you probably couldn’t be cocky anymore, even if you tried. You just need to start speaking from alignment or differently put, from that younger, more confident part of yourself before you were told to be quiet.

This week, try this:

1. Redefine “Ambition” for Yourself

Ambition isn’t arrogance, it’s self-respect in action. It’s knowing your value and giving others permission to see it too. Instead of “I don’t want to seem full of myself,” try: “I want to show the full version of myself.”

2. Start with Low-Stakes Advocacy
If self-promotion feels awkward, start small.

Mention a win in a team chat.
Add a line of context in your update: “This project grew out of an idea I brought up last quarter.”
Practice saying, “I’m proud of the impact we made here.”

You’re not bragging, you’re just narrating your contribution because quite literally, your hard work can’t speak for itself. You have to.

3. Build a New Reference Group
Surround yourself with people who get it. People who are like you. People who won’t mistake your confidence for attitude because they’ve very likely fought the same inner battle. When you normalize self-advocacy in your circle, it stops feeling like constant rebellion.

This Week’s Practice

Pick one space, either home or work, where you’ve been hiding your voice and speak 10% louder there.

That could mean sharing a win at work without softening it or telling family what you’re proud of instead of downplaying it. The ultimate goal is to get to when who you are at work finally matches who you are at home. That’s not “too ambitious.” That’s alignment. And that’s where authentic leadership begins.

If this hit home, I’d love to hear from you: Where do you feel the biggest cultural tension - at home or at work? Hit reply and tell me. I read every response.

And if you’re ready to bridge that gap - to speak up, lead confidently, and still feel like you - come join my Masterclass on Thursday, November 20 @ 11aCST (9aPST/12pEST). I’ll teach you how to:

how to get noticed without being the loudest in the room;
how to build influence without the office politics;
and how to get promoted without shrinking or pretending to be someone you're not.

Sign up here. And if you like what you see, let’s talk about working together to get you visible, promoted and paid while honoring your roots as you rise.

Have a great weekend!

Minal

🔥 If this hit home, share it with someone who’s ever felt “too ambitious” in one room and “too quiet” in another. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, join Unmuted here 👇🏽 to get next week’s issue. You don't want to miss it!

SUBSCRIBE NOW!