(3-4 mins)
I was 25, sitting in a conference room in my first “real” corporate job, and I still remember how tight my jaw felt. Everyone around me was tossing ideas around like beach balls. Loud, confident, casual and meanwhile, I was in my head, calculating every word, every facial expression, and every breath.
I wasn’t just preparing my input, I was essentially rehearsing my identity. And by the time I finally found the “perfect,” polished, safe-enough way to jump in, the topic had already moved on. I walked out of that meeting so angry at myself. Not because I didn’t have ideas, but because I’d been so busy translating myself that I never actually spoke.
Sound familiar? If you’ve ever felt like you’re living a double life at work, professional version here, “real you” tucked away over there, you’re not imagining it. It is a thing. And it has a name: code-switching.
Code-Switching Isn’t About Faking - It’s About Surviving
For so many first- and second-gen professionals, code-switching didn’t start in boardrooms. It started at kitchen tables, school buses, family gatherings, WhatsApp group chats, living between cultures and expectations, home and work.
We learned early: Adapt. Fit in. Be palatable. Make others comfortable. Don’t make waves. And hey listen, there’s skill in that. It’s not easy to do. I know, I did it for ages. Code-switching is a survival strategy, a cultural superpower, and truthfully, sometimes still necessary. But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: That survival skill becomes an identity tax, and the receipt grows over time.
The Hidden Costs of Code-Switching
1) Delayed Confidence - When you edit yourself before speaking, you start doubting what you would’ve said. Self-doubt is not born from lack of ability, it's born from overthinking your belonging.
2) Missed Influence - Executive presence isn’t just about what you say, it’s also about being seen, consistently. It’s hard to stand out and be seen when you’re constantly shape-shifting to be invisible and fit in.
3) Emotional Burnout - Carrying two versions of yourself is heavy. Your nervous system stays on alert, scanning for “acceptable.” That’s not professionalism, it’s survival mode in business casual.
4) Identity Splintering - After years of adjusting, polishing, shrinking, and smoothing, it’s really hard to know what your authentic leadership voice actually sounds like. And take it from me, corporate success without self-connection feels really hollow.
So What Do You Do?
This newsletter isn’t here to tell you, “Just be yourself!” We don't do fluffy advice here. Here’s a realistic, gentle starting place.
This week’s practice: Choose one moment to be 5% more you. Not 50%, not a dramatic reveal, just 5%.
Here are some examples:
Say your idea in your natural cadence vs. your “presenting voice”
Let your natural facial expression or humor show (yes, dry sarcasm is a leadership trait)
Replace “Does that make sense?” with “Here’s what I recommend”
Speak without over-editing the “perfect” statement.
This isn’t about rebellion. It’s about re-entry, slowly returning to who you are and what you have to offer. Small doses of authenticity build confidence faster than perfection ever will.
One Day, the Goal Is
To be authentic at every moment possible. Not to fit into a room, but to shape it; not to shrink your edges, but to lead with them; not to survive the room, but to own your seat at the table and invite others in too. Code-switching may have gotten you here but authenticity is what will take you further.
If this resonated, hit reply and tell me: Where do you notice yourself code-switching the most at work? I read every message.
And if you're ready to start showing up with confidence and authenticity, without burning out or overworking, my private coaching program is probably designed for you. Hit reply and let me know you're interested. I'll send over an overview of the program.
Let’s build the confidence and presence you're not just capable of but worthy of.
See you next week,
Minal
👋🏽 Hi! I’m Minal - a Career Success & Leadership Coach for 1st & 2nd gen professionals (the first in your family to build a career here or the child of immigrants balancing two cultures). I help you move past outdated work advice, communicate with confidence and clarity, and show up as a strong, credible leader so that you can earn promotions (and raises) faster without burning out, shrinking yourself, or pretending to be someone you’re not.
🔥 If this hit home, forward it to one person who’s confident on paper but still feels unseen at work. And if you haven’t subscribed yet, join Unmuted here 👇🏽 to get next week’s issue. You don't want to miss it!
